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Giant Tanks Near Florida

March 20, 2009

I was on a field trip with the department of touring. I wasn’t exactly sure why I was there, but we were on a small Island resort near the U.S.A. One guy took me aside and decided to demonstrate a point. He showed me a real life video of what was happening, this was the information:
During world war one the Americans put a chemical in their dirty water supply to make it taste better. It did just that, and even made it look drinkable (I would say that purple water doesn’t look drinkable, but what would I know). What they didn’t realise was that it made people’s
heads swell up and explode. It was kept secret and  topped quickly.
Unfortunately, there was a lot of this stuff left over being held in giant tanks near Florida. The tanks recently burst, sending the purple water into the sea. Because of the way the currents work, the water is heading straight to New Zealand. It will get into their water supply and what will happen to anybody who drinks it? Their head will explode.

While he was explaining all this he kept holding me half over cliffs to make a point. He then showed me the purple water on the horizon, making its way past the resort. I was more interested in the flower arrangements; someone managed to arrange “EFF OFF” in white flowers in the resort gardens.

The company the sciencey guy was working for decided to hire me to do something about the problem. They took me to a room full of supplies. They told me that I could use anything I needed to get the rock star Rod Stewart’s attention, and then have a conversation about it with
him.
I went through the supplies thinking more about what I could get for free than what I could use. I think they realised this but didn’t mind too much. I got some nice beers, some biscuits, and some drinks from the bundaburg range.

I went looking for Laura telling her that we had to leave. Mike and Penel were waiting to go on stage after Rod Stewart. Rod came off, and Laura said that this was my chance (I’m not sure how she knew about it). He had about 100 female fans running after him, so I joined them. He was walking with a limp, so it was easy to catch him, especially when he was walking up the stairs.
The girls all wanted him to sign something or be groupies, but I just searched in my bag, looking for something to offer him. He turned to me and said, “Have you got any plum shouchu?” I did and gave it to him, “Let’s go have a chat, just you and me.”
“I don’t need girls like that, ” he said to me, “I have a wife and kids at home. So, are you some kind of scientist?” He was referring to the lab coat that I was wearing (it was too small for me).
“Um, sometimes,” I replied, “I’m like, a scientist some of the time, and an educating scientist other times.”
We went inside.

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