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I Jokingly Suggested McDonalds.

March 31, 2008

Me and Andrew A were coming from a party in South Tokyo. He said, “this looks a lot like south Dunedin.”
“It’s exactly the same, only much, much bigger,” I replied. Actually it looked like a mix between North Dunedin and South Auckland. We were coming from a terrible party with punks at Amiria’s house. She lives with Blistering Tongues and other such awful bands. When we were walking down the hill to the main road we were making fun of their music.
He asked how long it’s going to take to walk home. I said, “about 3 hours.” He set his extremely expensive watch and said, “I’ve given us 7 hours, let’s hope we make it in that time.” I told him it won’t take that long. He said it would be close to that. “no it won’t,” I said.
He asked what we should do for breakfast. I jokingly suggested McDonalds. He laughed, but then we realised we were in McDonalds. It took us ages to find our way out. It was a really fancy McDonalds because it connected to Government buildings. I noticed that they served ’McCow’, which is a whole cow cooked alive in the fryer. Ew. We took the wrong exit and ended up coming out of the Government building. Some guy who looked like a mix between a Mayor and a Doctorate graduate asked us in Japanese why we were there. We told him we came out the wrong way, and he just went, “Right, right, right, right, right….” We left with him still saying ’right’.
In some tennis courts that we passed there were some Japanese guys dressed up in traditional Maori getup; they must have just finished some haka practice or something. I made the comment, “look, some Maoris with marker pen on their faces.” Andrew laughed. One of the Maori guys said, “What? What did you just say?” He took out a knife and held it to our throats. I told him that we didn’t want any trouble and were just walking home. “I do want trouble,” he replied, “Makoto here is half real Maori so you’re being racist.” I told him that we aren’t racists. “Well, I am,”  he said, “I hate white people.”
Me and Andrew ran. He ran after us. His minions probably ran after him, I don’t know. The running was frustratingly slow. I was running as hard as I could, but it was in slow motion. Luckily theirs was too. I jumped from up on the grass to a wood-chip playground. I ran through lots of really big handicapped Japanese people who were playing on swings. I dodged all of the swings, and on the last swing I passed was Jason Palmer. He said that running from Maoris looked like fun, so he joined in for a while. Before he started running he tied his laces twice.

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