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Give Us Cooking Bags To Put Over Heads

October 7, 2007

I went to a variety show with laura. there weren’t very many people in the audience. she said the famous MC but i didn’t know who he was.
There were 3 actors on stage doing the same actions over & over while the MC talked to audience members. When he got to me he asked me to say my story, starting from last year & going backwards. Everytime i mentioned drinking everyone cheered (cause they were drunk). One of the drunk hobos got up on stage & started singing the theme from loveboat. Laura said we should go. I told her i had to make fun of the guy and proceeded to do so. He started to beat the crap out of me. Laura dragged me out.

The wolf had invited the three pigs & I out to dinner. He gave us cooking bags to put over our heads & told us to dive into the water for our food. I only pretended to put on my bag.

When I was fishing around for my food I noticed a plant from the bottom of the water kept making contact with my leg. At first it just brushed against me, but it got more & more violent, & started to grab at me. It snatched one of the pigs & killed it. That’s when i got out & went to the embassy. They told me that i got out just in time because they had declared war with didymo. One of the officers told me i would have to buy a gun. They cost $2.60 &  I only had $1.30, so i had to go without for the time being. I told them i didn’t really like guns anyway & I’ve never shot anyone…they laughed and sent me away.

I had to run along a marathon track by the water because the didymo was shooting at us. It hit KC & he died. The weed was swimming very fast. I managed to borrow 110 yen to buy a coke. The UN were having a meeting on the river bed & decided that the Japanese & the sand people could get along for now while they had the sea problem. I ran (sometimes very fast because of my long legs but sometimes frustratingly slowly) until i got to the fortune theatre, where I hid in the dressing room. Brian said that everyone got opening night flowers except me. I didn’t care…who wants flowers anyway? they just die.

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